One Day It Happens
One day it happens….
You look in the mirror, you look at your phone, back in the mirror, then back at your phone to see a cold reality staring back at you. You are the only “adult” in the room. You are your only option. You are the answer to your questions and you will be the solution to your problem. No-one but you. The dichotomy of this moment is intense. The scariest feeling in the world is when you realize you are all you got. Be encouraged. When the fear dissipates, a truth will begin to surface like a light at the end of a tunnel.
There is no better teacher than the one in this moment.
This moment of temporary fear will teach you a very simple life long lesson which is this. You Can Do This. Period. You can do this because the strength in your core is stronger than any challenge that life can throw at you. You can do this because if you will listen, there is something deep in your soul that will rise up and help you walk through this with dignity and strength. You will more than survive this, you will make this an opportunity to become the best version of you that could possibly exist.
I know this because I have been there.
My “moment” happened when my ex husband came home from church and as I cleaned up our breakfast dishes, let me know “we can solve this problem for $389”.
It was the moment he said ”We can solve this problem for $389”, that my life flashed before my eyes.. I had sacrificed my child bearing years, my career, my identify and over a million dollars all in the name of being the good wife and step mom in a 13 plus year marriage. My life for the last 13 years and all of my sacrifices weren’t even worth a good juicy divorce. Rather a simple $389 with online documents he put together was my expressed value to the one I had given power to value me. At that point, I was so exhausted and beat down from the emotional Jekyll & Hyde roller coaster life we had that I didn’t care. I ignored logic and the well-meaning advice to get in writing what he “owed” me. I ignored the strong words from my friend and attorney begging me to not just walk away leaving him everything. Yes, everything….even my name. But I had to take my self respect and just walk away.
I didn’t just walk from something. I walked to something. To what had always been waiting. To the truth that my life was meant for more and I would find my way to it. Walking to the truth and power that comes from face this fear of being all you have, to understanding the power in the statement that you are all you have. The resolve left behind is something no-one can ever take away from you again.
The resolve will teach you how to be your own hero. It will show you that you do posses more strength than you know. There isn’t anything you need anyone for. You will be ok. you will make it. You will be better because of it. Trust me. I have walked this path and proof that if I can do it, you can too.
If you are reading this believe in the path and the strength that comes from taking one day at a time. Make the best decision in that moment and move on to the next one, and the next, and the next.
For me, it took waking up each day with the “thank you for the surprises that are waiting for me today” prayer. I took each day and looked as hard as I could for a blessing in that day. Sometimes, it was that I woke up. Sometimes it was that I had a roof over my head. Sometimes it was that my parents were still alive. Sometimes it was that the sun was shining. Every day I focused on the surprise of that day and the blessings that it held. That changed my perspective and that changed everything.